Alula has started at a new school. Some of you may have heard of it. It’s called Green School and it’s sort of famous because it’s a) built all out of bamboo (even the toilets) b) Al Gore visited once and so did Ben & Jerry (you can tell which one made me more excited) …
Alula has been doing her best impression of Damien from the Omen these last few weeks. And when I say ‘impression’ I mean that she follows the method acting school of thought. Being Ubud, most people’s first response when I appear weeping before them, pouring the valium down my throat is – ‘Have you taken …
I am sitting amidst a pile of cellophane wrappers and discarded shoes – plastic tweety pie emblazoned fake crocs, Disney Princess bow-clad horrors with heels, sparkly beaded flip flops. I am in tears. ‘If you don’t choose a pair of damn shoes by the time I count to ten I am going to send you …
Our neighbour Made broke his leg a year ago in a moped accident. He’s still on crutches and can’t walk. He’s also in a lot of pain. He just came over to show me his leg and I did well to keep my breakfast down. I’m not good with bodily secretions. Least of all yellow …
Two four year olds stand before me, hands on hips. ‘Is there Birthday cake?’ one demands. ‘Yes.’ ‘Is the Cake Raw?’ the other asks. ‘No.’ ‘Is the cake Vegan. Because I’m Vegan,’ says the other. ‘No.’ ‘Well, what will I eat?’ ‘Um…'(I don’t know but I’m thinking there’ll be more cake for me). I walk …
It’s pitch black. I’m sweating. People around me are gasping and moaning and writhing. There’s only one place this could be. The Yoga Barn on a Friday night. It feels so good to get back to ecstatic dance. It was up there with coconuts as the thing I missed most about being away from Bali. …
I’m glad I called the taxi for 11.30 and not 12.30 as I originally did. I’m glad for a number of reasons. But mainly because if I hadn’t we’d be sleeping the night in Little Chalfont right now instead of flying high on a 747 on our way back to Bali drinking our third vodka …
I’m a Londoner. I will always be a Londoner. My grandfather grew up on the Old Kent road. My mum was born on the Peabody estate in Pimlico. I spent a lot of time as a kid staring out the window of my grandmother’s flat over at Battersea Power Station never understanding the optical illusion …
Look here I am! I’m right there on the table next to Stephenie Meyer and beneath the fantastic Divergent. If the camera panned upwards you’d see my grinning like a loon. I’m on the table NEXT TO STEPHENIE MEYER. My book. Is on the table next to BREAKING DAWN. And did I mention DIVERGENT? …
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