‘I’m going out there. I have to move that potato.’ ‘Ok,’ I whisper, thinking you are on your own buddy. John disappears through the canvas flap. He is gone a long time. I hear rustling. Then I hear gallumping, paw-pounding sounds. Right near my head. Then I hear John breathlessly re-entering the tent. ‘Did you …
5. Cycling. John says cycling up the volcano in Bali. If you recall I cycled DOWN. Except it wasn’t down. So that doesn’t feature on my highlight list. But cycling around the riverfront in Perth does. Because it was flat. 6. Swimming to Palolem Purely because I made it. 7. 12 hour train ride to …
We have seven days before we head back to London. I can’t believe we’ve been away 7 months. It’s been easily the best 7 months of my life so I’m kind of reeling with premature holiday blues whilst also enjoying the best time of the trip so far. Not that it’s over. On the one …
I’m not sure if you’ve seen Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (possibly the best children’s film to be made in decades) but there’s a great scene in it when this fat bloke takes on some man-size roasted chickens and he ends up looking like this… Well that’s what I wanted to do with my …
We did a 5 day roadtrip. We drove 1500 miles. Half of which were unnecessary and ending in three point turns. Having said that we saw most of southern California. We headed East first to Big Bear Lake through the Mojave. We kept Lula from going car crazy by telling her to look for Bears. …
Disneyland – the happiest place on earth. Also the fattest. I didn’t know fat like this existed. It’s not like the fat you sometimes see in the UK. It’s astonishing fat. It’s six belly folds fat. It’s humungous fat and it’s queuing in front of you at the ice cream place ordering a triple chocolate …
‘It is not my fault. It is the map’s fault.’ ‘A-ha,’ John murmurs from the driver’s seat. ‘No. Seriously. This map is totally fecking shite. Joshua Tree could be 5 metres away, it could be 5 miles or it could be 500 light years away. Want to know why it could be any of those? …
I’m not sure how exactly we ended up here. It involves marriage. And step uncles and fathers and weird shit I’d rather not delve into. And less genetically it also involved John spending as long at the Alamo car hire place choosing a Ford Focus as it did to cross the pacific and that was …
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