‘I want a magazine!’ She demands as soon as we swish through the doors of Sainsburys. I push on past the cbeebies magazines with their cellophaned child magnet landfill toys. ‘I want a lemon,’ she says next pointing at the melons. ‘I want moreganix!,’ she says whilst trying to grab six pink packets of Organix in her arms as …

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I am in Waitrose and I am about to cry. It isn’t because of the prices, nor because of the semi-religious experience that shopping in those wide, airy aisles inspires in me, nor because Lula now strapped firmly into her buggy after hightailing it around the store, is screaming ‘But I WANT a croissant!’ over …

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