The BBC Breakfast studio is really small and really dark and they seat you a good three feet away from the presenters so you feel as if you are talking to them across a chasm. Also that backdrop is painted on the wall. Who knew!? I had spent the previous thirty minutes before appearing on …
I’m going to be on BBC Breakfast on Friday morning. I have spent the last three weeks on a crash diet because I don’t want to find out that the adage about the camera adding ten pounds is true after the event, when I walk off set and switch on my phone to find a dozen …
I am going to die in leopard print shoes. The rasta on the London-Bristol bus who molested me when I was 21 and then grabbed my palm and told me I was going to die aged 62 in a car crash got his dates confused thanks to all the weed he’d just smoked in the …
‘It’s time to leave Bali mummy,’ Alula declares as we walk out of Green School gates for the last time ever. She doesn’t mean literally. We’re not going for another three days but in her infinite wisdom Alula’s hit the nail on the head. It is time to leave. Though the feeling is vague and …
Dear Alula, Yesterday you cried. You were inconsolable. You want to leave now, you sobbed. You don’t want to make friends in England, you said, because you’ll just end up leaving them, so what’s the point? You’re really bad at math, you cried. And you call braids braids, not plaits. Who calls them plaits anyway? …
I’m sitting in my swingy chair on the balcony wearing a light cotton slip, listening to the soothing afternoon chirrup of the crickets, looking out over the sweltering blue sky and sipping an iced coffee. This is my world right now…. And then someone I know sends me this (along with a smiling faced emoticon, for …
The psychic says yes, go. One of my best friends says no, stay. The other has a baby. My dad says come home. John says, do what you need to do. I don’t want you to be unhappy. Alula says, yes but not if I have to go to school in England. My gut says …
John and I are discussing over instant messenger the offer I’ve just had from a publisher to turn this blog into a book. In the light of the offer I’ve been reading back over the blog posts from when I first started blogging almost five years ago to the day now. I’ve been laughing over …
‘Did she do a voice like in the exorcist?’ I ask, my eyes bugging wide. Komang nods, though I’m not sure he’s seen The Exorcist. ‘Yah,’ he says. To be sure he’s really understood me I do my own impression. ‘You must not wear short-sleeves!’ I say in a scary demon voice. Komang nods, ‘Yah, …
John left Bali yesterday. For good. Kadek cried all day. I stood, looking at all the junk he’d left for me to clear up, and scowled. When I first heard that John had been offered a job in London my first thought was, well at least there’s Skype. It was funny though because about three months before …
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