I’m having difficulties with noughts. Four countries, four currencies, four months, four billion noughts between them all. I thought I had it sorted. 1000 rupees roughly 14 quid, 1 Singapore dollar roughly 50p, 10,000 rupiah roughly a dollar (for some reason I switch to dollars in Indonesia). Then we got to Malaysia and it all …
It is the dead of night. The moon is shrouded with cloud. Eerie Gamalan music is drifting through the trees. We are stalking through mud, smacking into branches and tripping over ditches. The high priestess is ahead of us, springing like a mountain goat over the puddles and broken ruts. She is balancing a basket …
The only thing I have to complain about vis a vis Bali is the price of tampax. We’re talking $9US for a box of 8. That’s surely criminal. Some customs man is definitely getting rich off the pain of others. I wrote down tampax importing business on my list of ‘possible ways to find money …
‘It’s interesting reading about the election in the UK isn’t it?’ Richard says. ‘Er. No. Actually. It isn’t.’ When I think of the UK I just think grey. And Cameron. And having to do my own laundry. ‘So do you think you’ll go back?’ he asks ‘You know Rich,’ I say, ‘I just can’t see …
Somewhere over the Bay of Bengal, whilst John and I were busy decanting our cabernet sauvignon into plastic glasses and grinning manically at each other (it was the first red wine we’d had in two months. The fact it was 10am seemed inconsequential – as I argued to John – somewhere else in the world …
The strip light was about three inches from my eyeball. The mosquitoes were biting the soles of my feet – the bastards. The metal ropes holding the bunk were rusting. An elderly Indian gentlemen was dying of emphesema in the bed below. And I was sharing that 12 inch wide, grimy bunk with a small …
Baby, baby. Everywhere we go it’s to a chorus of Baby, Baby. It makes me feel like an extra in dirty dancing. Like I need to be carrying a watermelon with me wherever I go and then maybe someone will tell John not to put me in the corner. I digress – that’s my thirteen …
‘What did the lady want?’ ‘She wanted money. Why? ‘Because some people don’t have any money.’ ‘Well why didn’t you give her some mummy?’ Alula has been in Mumbai less than 20 hours and it’s not the heat or the noise or the smells that have blown her away. It’s the dresses. She doesn’t see …
‘22222359’ ‘Yeah I don’t need the phone number thanks. There’s the map on that page can you just take me there?’ ‘Surrounded – by – pot – plants – and – set- in – a – beautifully – restored – yellow – portugese – townhouse.’ ‘Yeah thanks I’ve read the description, do you think you …
Today in money. 7p bottle of filtered water £1.50 fruit salad and granola & honey, lemon and ginger tea 12p 3 x samosas 66p autorickshaw £6 hour long spa pedicure (totally necessary ok) £1.05 two sweet lime waters 66p autorickshaw 5p loo roll £1.30 vodka & tonic £1 chocolate mousse fudge tart £3 salad and …
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