I was watching Eastenders yesterday and between that and the snow it seems obvious that the reasons are lining up to remind me why we are leaving. Like an image of the Virgin Mary appearing in a potato. An unexpected reminder to keep the faith because our next life is going to be nothing short of celestially amazing.

In real life, I bet half the actors in Eastenders  sound like Keira Knightley. Or me. But they have to put on an east end accent. Why do the casting people do this? They could just give the jobs to actors who speak with an east end accent normally. Like my daughter.

Lula says Baby Jeeza like this – byebee Jeesah. That’s baby Jesus to you and me.

The other day she actually said ‘innit.’ (it’s the byebee Jeesah innit).

I’m not dead. But if I was, I’d be spinning in my grave. As it is I spend my day walking around after her correcting her grammar and accent. ‘It’s not Liedee, it’s lady. Lula, it’s not yeah, it’s yes. It’s cake, not Kaike.’

I know this sounds like I am a pushy mother and a snob and I’m going to deny this. At least the former. If I was a pushy mother I wouldn’t be dragging my child off travelling in a tutu but would be ferrying her religiously to ballet lessons, piano classes and Montessori. But I am a snob. I think everyone is a snob.  Secretly.  But even if you deny that (Can you? Can you really?) you can’t deny that being able to speak like Keira pays dividends. I’m forever being asked to do a reading at weddings.  And I used to be able to get paid very good money for doing nothing but saying ‘Good morning’ down the phone. Seriously, that’s all I said, it wasn’t some posh girl sex line for people who like a bit of Jane Seymour (you know who you are). You see – it has its uses talking posh.

So I’m working on thawing out the vowels in alula’s voice and introducing some ‘t’s and am wondering whether it’s worth the effort. ‘It’s not YOUR way – it’s MY way!’ she yells when I correct her. And she’s right really, she can speak any goddam way she pleases, so long as she says please and thank you.

But I am hoping some Australian rubs off on her. Because Summer Bay is way more appealing a place than Albert Square for me to perfect my pushy mother routine.