Let’s get one thing clear. I’m not American.
But I kind of prefer the whole giving thanks idea to the whole big fat man dressed in red, family horror, queen’s speech, overcooked turkey and ooh look more socks day of hell idea.
Let’s get another thing clear. I hate Christmas. Always have. I like living in a Hindu country (well Bali is mainly Hindu so work with me) because I get to put flowers on my elephant statue every morning and stroke the Buddha’s head on my way out the door. I don’t have to deal with Christmas crackers in the shops in July, lugging the Christmas tree down from the loft and unfurling its thousand and three branches and I don’t have to deal with family (sorry family – you know how I feel on this one).
Anyway, this year I’m celebrating Thanksgiving instead. Ok, ok, it’s really because Thanksgiving is also my birthday. But also because – as I fall into the flow of Ubud and get suckered into becoming an enlightened being filled with love and joy (this is when all the people who knew me from before start sending me concerned emails) – I realize how much giving of thanks there is to be done at the end of this my 33rd year, which has undoubtedly been the best year of my life so far.
So here I begin:
THANK YOU JOHN My beautiful, wonderful husband. The man whose belief in the power of outrageous potential led us here. Without you we wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be three and life wouldn’t be as safe, wonderful and filled with music and dancing as it is.
THANK YOU ALULA For telling me every day that you love me more than I love you – even though it isn’t true and could never be true. Today you told me you loved me as tickly as a feather. And I couldn’t come up with anything better at the time. But I love you as tickly as ten feathers. So NAH.
(I just read this to her and she said, ‘well I love you as tickly as a hundred and a billion feathers and that’s even better than you.’)
THANK YOU MY FAMILY My brother Tom for being the best brother in the world (despite telling me I couldn’t date your girlfriends’ brothers back in the day) and for supporting me as a writer. My parents for ensuring I never doubted I could do anything (except maths and physics dad, and maybe driving – but you were right on all three counts). My sister in law Sarah for her no nonsense Irish sense and my brother in law Richard who is also one of my best friends and a total inspiration. Thank you for helping us get started on the journey.
THANK YOU MY FRIENDS This year has been about saying goodbye to friends and making new ones. I love you Nic, Vic and Sara and miss you billions and hundreds as Lula would say. Thank you beautiful new friends in Ubud who have welcomed us and made me feel at home here in a matter of months.
THANK YOU SIMON & SCHUSTER For buying my books and giving me a lovely advance with which I have been able to buy lots of nice new clothes and a breakfast bowl. I hope I make you tons of money. And that you keep buying my books forever and ever until we’re all so rich we can retire and I get to have three houses – one in California, one here and one in London and can fly first class between them (hey, I’m just putting it out there so the Universe knows what I’m after).
And finally, THANK YOU UNIVERSE For being on my side. And in advance for getting me the three homes and the first class travel and the wallet the size of Oprah’s.