Alula: Play with me mummy

Me: Only if I don’t have to play barbies.

Alula: But I want to play barbies

Me: Well I don’t like Barbie

Alula: Why not?

Me: Because Barbie represents an image of womanhood and beauty that I find offensive.

Alula: No she doesn’t. Don’t be silly mummy. Let’s play Barbie.

Me: Urgh. What do I have to do?

Alula: Make her talk.

Me: Ok. ‘My name’s Barbie and I’m a silly vacuous fool with ridiculous statistics an obsession with pink and deformed feet from wearing high heels, just like Victoria Beckham.’

Alula: Mummy that’s not how she talks.

The next morning:

Me: Oh look Barbie’s sleeping

Alula: No she’s not sleeping.

Me: Oh, is she resting?

Alula: No.

Me: so what is she?

Alula: dead.

That afternoon

John: I had a big conversation with lula about why girls aren’t always best. And why boys can be better sometimes.

Me: Don’t go putting ideas into her head.

On the way home from school

Alula: Look that man just said hello to me. But I’m not going to say hello back because I don’t know his name.

Me: Good job. Generally we don’t say hello to strange men.

Alula: We don’t?

Me: Not unless they’re very, very good looking and then we can make an exception to that rule.

Alula: If they’re very very handsome we can say hello?

Me: yes

Alula: So if they’re like Eggy (her first ever crush) or like Fintan (her cousin), I can say hello?

Me: Yeah. You can say hi if they’re like Eggy or Fintan.

Alula: I want to marry Fintan and I want Eggy to be my baby’s daddy.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “The Alula scripts

  1. Brilliant! This made me smile. And is that Eggie of Moaning Mum’s blog?

    1. boublog says:

      yes Eggy from Moaning Mum Natasha’s blog. We met them in India and then we all stayed together in Bali. Alula’s first crush was on Egg. There’s a funny photo somewhere on my blog of her hugging him.

  2. Nic Stallwood says:

    That post made me laugh out really loud in an open plan office. Brilliant!

  3. Ooops! Very amusing post. Reminds me somewhat of my daughter who’s currently going through the Barbie and Ken phase. She’s at that awkward age of 11, and I wonder if dolls will ever make their way to the loft or will be constantly scattered amongst our guest room carpet!

    CJ

  4. Genesis says:

    Well, the girl has her priorities straight! With two men, she should be set for life. 😀 It’s always good to save their sayings for later . . . they’ll be priceless when we’re too old to remember!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: