I’m writing this about friends of ours – friends whose company I enjoy a lot. But I’m never going to have dinner with either of them again.

That’s because they’ve given up eating. As in solids. As in chewing.

And you thought I was lazy.

And they’re not doing this indefinitely. No, they’re doing this ‘infinitely’. As in until the end of time when God comes a knocking.

I get the whole eating healthy thing. I do. Honest. Well kind of. But juice for the REST OF YOUR LIFE? I love juice as much as the next person but FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? I think about what I would do – the repetitive strain from passing all those carrots and broccoli stalks through the juicer all day. I ask my friend if she’ll just sit in Clear café and work her way through their delectable drinks menu all day because if I was her I could do that. That would be ok for a day or two anyway – especially if I could just drink one of their chocolate smoothie drinks every hour on the hour. And also if I could include a flask of vodka as a dietary supplement and slip it into my colada cooler when the waitress wasn’t looking.

Will you still poo? I ask my friend, cutting right to the important stuff.

She assures me that she will. But I’m wondering how that’s possible if all that’s going in is liquid. Surely you’d just poo water? AKA squit.

This evening I read a blog post about their first day doing this juice for the rest of their life thing. I’m kind of in blinking awe of this. And stunned disbelief. I want to go around to their house and start bbq-ing steak and letting the smell waft in or at the very least smother some papaya in coconut cream and cacao (I know they like this) and start eating it in front of them but I think they’d probably just liquidize it and drink it as juice (the papaya – not the steak).

And then I read on their blog that the ultimate goal is to stop taking any kind of food or liquids at all and to live on light.

Imagine how much washing up that would save, and how much money. And then I feel relieved because maybe we can have them round to dinner after all. Because I won’t have to try to juice them anything with my broken juicer. I can just give them a plate with a sunbeam on instead.

NB. update: two years later and both parties are now fully committed members of the carnivore world. No more raw food nonsense for either of them. In fact one of them tells me he hasn’t eaten a salad in over a year. So HAH!