I’m sorry. I’ve been lame. I’ve been distracted by Vivienne Westwood, the deli counter at Sainsbury’s, trying to buy credit on a pay as you go phone and driving to Norfolk and back.

In the last week I have:

Bought a 300 pound dress I can no longer fit into

Eaten too much so now I weigh more pounds than the dress

Visited two National Trust houses and learnt that 18^th century beds are smaller than modern ones not because people were shorter but because in the olden days they used to sit upright to sleep as they thought if they lay down they’d die.

Explained to Alula who the Virgin Mary is

Also explained to Alula the concept of a soul and how being naughty will affect what she comes back as in her next life

Had lunch with a lesbian killer vampire and got the low down on all the cast of TWILIGHT….oh yes people I’m in possession of some awesome titbits about Robsten and the short underage one with the illegally hot six pack.

Written three chapters of my new book and toned down the kissing scene in the book that I’m editing (by order of my editor).

Got my hands on an actual copy of Hunting Lila

Figured out that neither my mum nor my husband can read a map without turning it upside down to figure out left and right and that altogether it’s best if I both map read and drive if we ever want to arrive anywhere

Cooked a leg of lamb people without destroying it or the pan or the oven or burning down the kitchen. Result.

Realised again that I hate cooking and vowed never to cook again.

Done the laundry for the first time in 18 months.

Dyed Alula’s clothes blue and shrunk John’s t-shirt.

Despaired of ever finding a bra in my size in M&S (because they don’t make them that small anymore apparently).

Drunk a lot of wine.