My friend is doing this insane fast thing. When I say insane fast thing I don’t mean she’s doing something really quickly, and I’m not talking about breatharianism either (remember that post – the one about the people who wanted to give up eating altogether and just live on light?…). This is even crazier than that…

Here are the rules to this fast:

No criticizing
No complaining
No gossiping
No negative language
No bitching
And the rule is if you slip up you forgive yourself and start the 21 days over again.

I looked at her, my eyes wide as the steering wheel I was, at that moment, clutching. ‘But, but…what will you talk about?’ Isn’t that tantamount to taking a vow of silence?

‘It lets positivity flow,’ she answered. I think the words universe, manifestation and creativity were also in there somewhere.

Thing is, though my natural response is to piss-take, I’m also kind of intrigued by the idea of trying this ‘fast’, even though it would mean trying it for the rest of MY LIFE because I’d never last 21 days.

For all my piss taking about Ubud I’m actually being busted more and more by friends who narrow their eyes at me and shake their heads while saying incredulously, ‘You’re actually one of them aren’t you?’

They mean that I am slowly becoming an Ubudian…I use the words manifest, intention, positivity, universe and raw at least once a day. Sometimes when I speak I slam my mouth shut in shock that such things have fallen from my lips, without any sense of irony whatsoever (what is happening to me?) I draw the line at wearing fisherman pants however. And I only own one mandala.

Contemplating it more though, I worry that this fast might limit my conversation. Won’t it make me kind of boring? Also, does ‘Don’t come up my fucking ass!’ (yelled at a really annoying driver the other day) count as negative language? Because I really do swear rather a lot…and I complain ALL the time (mainly about the drivers on the roads here), so quitting complaining might require me to quit driving.

No gossiping…I’m boggled by this one too. I’m sure everything that comes out my mouth could be constituted gossip. As in; the exchange of information. But if it means not saying anything bad about anyone then that’s fairly easy as I try not to do that anyway, unless it’s someone EVIL (you know who you are), in which case fair game.

On second thoughts, though it sounds like a noble intention (there I go again) I think I’d rather try breatharianism.

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