About six years ago I was sitting on the 7.38 train to London Bridge and I turned to John and said: ‘I’m going to write a blog. What do you think about the title ‘Can we live here?’ He nodded. And so this blog was born. Back then I think I possibly harboured a tiny hope …
I’m going to be on BBC Breakfast on Friday morning. I have spent the last three weeks on a crash diet because I don’t want to find out that the adage about the camera adding ten pounds is true after the event, when I walk off set and switch on my phone to find a dozen …
I feel as if I’m paralytically drunk and standing on the deck of a storm-tossed boat while someone stabs an acid-tipped skewer into my ear. I have a sinus infection which has spread to my inner ear and I want to place my head in the freezer, curl in a ball and try not to …
I was really, really sick last night. I projectile vomited a punnet of cherries – just like in that scene from Stand By Me when the fat kid (nicknamed Lardass – co-incidentally that happens to be my brother’s name for me) swallows a litre of cod liver oil and then eats a dozen cherry pies all …
Very excited to show off the cover for the CAN WE LIVE HERE? book, which is out in August, published by the lovely people at Blink Publishing! PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY NOW! Amazon http://amzn.to/1LGk0h0 Waterstones http://bit.ly/1FOeWa9 WhSmiths http://bit.ly/1HvGQ7V Also, I’m doing a Q&A and signing at Stanfords in London on August 6th. BOOK YOUR TICKET …
The UK reached a high of 16 degrees today, which necessitated half the population stripping down to shorts and T-shirts in the gloriously mistaken belief that summer had arrived. I sighed at the way the British* so wholeheartedly leap into action the moment the thermostat edges into double figures but conceded that it was perhaps …
I almost drove over the Lollipop lady at Alula’s school. This is quite a remarkable feat considering she is dressed head to foot in luminous yellow and orange and resembles a giant traffic cone (and is also holding a six foot tall lollipop with the word ‘STOP’ emblazoned on it.) I screeched to a halt …
Clutching my phone and hyperventilating, I call John. ‘Help,’ I whisper under my breath, ‘I need help.’ ‘What’s the matter?’ ‘There’s too much gravy.’ ‘OK. What do you mean?’ I take a step back, banging into a trolley, and take in the full, eye-blistering, mind melting array of gravy options. I’m powerless, my brain pulling …
Alula started school last week in the UK. For the last four years she’s gone to school in the jungle at a school made entirely of bamboo with no walls, a farm, a giant crystal, a mud pit and where the school song is basically a prayer to mother earth. She has also been barefoot most …
I’m not dead. I haven’t slipped into a debilitating dark depression either, which is what I was sort of expecting to happen upon our return to the UK. I am sleeping a lot though (it’s so bloody dark at 8am it’s boggling my mind) and eating a LOT of chocolate, as in approximately five years’ …
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