‘It is not my fault. It is the map’s fault.’

‘A-ha,’ John murmurs from the driver’s seat.

‘No. Seriously. This map is totally fecking shite. Joshua Tree could be 5 metres away, it could be 5 miles or it could be 500 light years away. Want to know why it could be any of those? Because this map that you bought from Target is so shit.’

‘Right, so it’s my fault that you can’t read the map?’

‘I can read the map. I can read a map better than you can Mr. turn it upside down to check whether to go left or right.’

‘You get us lost more than I do.’

‘I’m sorry? Did you or did you not take us on a 150 mile detour yesterday through the Mojave desert?’

‘That’s because the scale was off in the Lonely Planet. Anyway, it was fun. We got to see the desert.’

‘It was fun for you because you got to work on your computer. I was the one driving through the desert. Look. This map is shit. I am buying a new one.’

‘It’s a waste of money. We already have a map.’

‘We have a shit map. That is getting us lost a lot. If we spent $20 on a new map we would save that in petrol money for all the detours.’

‘Well you didn’t even buy a map. You couldn’t even find the maps in the store.’

‘Yeah well actually it wasn’t that I couldn’t find them. I forgot to look.’

[Silence]

[For 50 more lost miles]