Oh dear.
It all started about ten days ago.
A concert
Afro Moses
Cool
Franti’s Villa
Pool Party Awesome
Raise money
Raffle
Fundraiser
‘Sarah can you ask Leila to be a raffle girl?’
‘Ooooh I like, like one of those 1950s cigarette girls’
‘Yeah, short skirt, a little hat, part men from their cash by shoogling her toosh.’
‘That will totally work. We’ll make a fortune.’
And somehow we’ve ended up here…
…Me standing holding a plate of ketchup in which a dozen chips are slowly sinking, whilst Leila measures me.
‘What are you measuring me for?’ I ask dropping another chip into my mouth. I remember asking her to make me a dress a while ago. It must be for that I think.
‘I’m thinking bright pink. What about you?’
‘Errrr – ‘ I say.
‘We don’t have to be the same.’
‘Errrr-‘ I say.
‘You’re doing the raffle with me right?’ Leila asks, jotting down my vital statistics which even upside down look huge.
‘Errrr – I guess I am now,’ I gamely say, gulping as she measures my bust and starts talking halter necks.
‘How short do you want the skirt?’ she asks.
I put the plate of chips down.
‘Belly on display?’
GOD NO. Corset can you make a corset I’m thinking. ‘Let’s go with hourglass shapes,’ I suggest.
I stand there as she measures my waist, my hips and bust and start thinking about what this might mean for my standing in the community.
Then I think, what standing?
I have no idea what people in this town think of me. I can guess though. The words sarcastic, sharp, aloof spring to mind. Possibly bitch. Maybe one or two people might say I’m friendly (those people I am actually friendly to). I know at least one person who calls me dancing sarah. I also know a few people who call me Alula’s mum. And a spattering who call me ‘the girl who blogs about us.’ However, I’m pretty sure in amongst all the adjectives there aren’t many people thinking ‘raffle girl’. I’m worrying all of a sudden about the raffle ticket sales.
But nonetheless, I cannot leave Leila to look like a cigarette girl come turn of the last century prostitute all by herself on Friday night. So I will be donning my costume like superman pulling on his tights, with a martyring expression on my face. I will be Raffle Girl.
Hello Tequila.