I’m dance walking twice a week. Not once. Twice. I visit Alchemy regularly and pay ridiculous amounts of money for raw chocolate (sweetened with stevia…stevia, what’s that you ask? I’ve no idea…) when perfectly decent Cadbury’s is available for half the price. I spent fifty quid on a bottle of Vitamineral Green and I drink …

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At midnight we land. I wake Alula. She’s now so big that I can only carry her for about 0.4 seconds before I have to set her down again so there’s no way I’m carrying her off this plane. Plus I have shopping bags laden down with Percy Pigs and a My Little Pony. Bless …

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