It was when I had just finished school and was taking a year out to work and to go travelling, except I had no work so I joined this posh temp agency in Clapham who found posh sounding girls like me and matched them with even posher, rich people who needed people to walk their …
Available from Amazon and WHSmiths So, so, so proud of my brother whose first book came out this week. He opened the Chester Literary Festival. Buy it!
Crazy cat lady spots me as I stand next to the ice cream in Bintang (think local supermarket on a par with Lidl). I am talking to my friend who I’ve also just run into when I see her heading towards me at eleven o’clock. And I think about ducking but I’m cornered between a …
The girl is tap tap tapping her leg whilst the man is reading out his graphic sex scene involving bobbing breasts and excited members. I am biting down on my bottom lip trying so hard not to laugh that I think I might give myself an oral piercing. We are in a workshop on writing …
A list of the people I have met in the last five days: Iridolgist Raw food cook Colonic irrigator Sexuality through yoga teacher Tarot reader Theta balancer Ecstatic dance teacher Feng Shui Balancer Soapnut evangelist Where are all the accountants and lawyers? They are not here I have figured, because there is no place for …
Shower, I say (in Indonesian). Wayan nods. I flick hurriedly through the pages of the dictionary whilst I stand in the bath demonstrating. ‘Long’ I say, pointing as I say it to the shower lead. I search frantically for shower head holder. It’s not included in the concise dictionary. I settle for to hold. So …
I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared. And that’s nothing to do with reading the Air Asia inflight magazine in which they discuss what happens when planes crash into the sea and try to comfort you with all the rescue paraphanelia that would ditch into the watery abyss with you. It’s ok, you’ll plummet …
Before – once upon a time – when I used to be a professional – I knew what punctuality was. It seems that in the last nine months punctuality and I have become estranged. Possibly permanently. It’s quite amazing how quickly it happened. John and I have never worn watches and for a time whilst …
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