‘What did the lady want?’ ‘She wanted money. Why? ‘Because some people don’t have any money.’ ‘Well why didn’t you give her some mummy?’ Alula has been in Mumbai less than 20 hours and it’s not the heat or the noise or the smells that have blown her away. It’s the dresses. She doesn’t see …
The Tupperware of crabs is warm in my hand. I am warm in the taxi. It is nearly midnight and the taxi (fecking surprise here) is lost. So lost that I think I might just try looking for the hatch and perhaps Sawyer to keep me company. I am sick of taxi drivers waggling their …
‘22222359’ ‘Yeah I don’t need the phone number thanks. There’s the map on that page can you just take me there?’ ‘Surrounded – by – pot – plants – and – set- in – a – beautifully – restored – yellow – portugese – townhouse.’ ‘Yeah thanks I’ve read the description, do you think you …
The Tibetan boy (he’s not like a boy boy, more like 25). I get the Tibetan boy. Tara gets the woman. I wonder whether boys know what pedicures are let alone how to actually GIVE one. But I sit. And smile politely. And think that at least it’s not a bikini wax. It’s just feet. …
Today in money. 7p bottle of filtered water £1.50 fruit salad and granola & honey, lemon and ginger tea 12p 3 x samosas 66p autorickshaw £6 hour long spa pedicure (totally necessary ok) £1.05 two sweet lime waters 66p autorickshaw 5p loo roll £1.30 vodka & tonic £1 chocolate mousse fudge tart £3 salad and …
It’s my first stop. And although I’m missing a fundamental part of my family (that would be my husband and daughter) I think I’ve found us a home (not like an actual house – that would be getting ahead of myself). I mean a place I think we could call home for say, three months …
It’s because I’m English and from nowhere comes a surge of national pride. I cannot let the side down. And that is the reason that I find myself diving off a boat a mile from shore. Into open water where I most definitely cannot see to the bottom. I want to add here that I’ve …
I’m struggling to write this post for two reasons. One – I don’t want to appear like I’m gloating and smug. Ok only one reason, you know me well enough now to know that I don’t really care if I look smug. The real reason I’m struggling is because I’m so relaxed that it is …
‘They think you’re easy.’ Huh. Ok. I wish Pooja had told me that that’s what Indian men think of Anglo Saxon women before bringing me to this dayglo ballroom where there are 453 Indian men in Armani suits and one Anglo Saxon woman. That one anglo saxon woman – in case you’re wondering – that’s …
I just had a bikini wax. It involved a butter knife, wax so hot I assume they climbed the nearest volcano and dipped their wax tub in a flowing lava bed to warm it up and two women. All behind a shower curtain. You want to hear about the rest of my day? I staggered …
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