The last three days have been some of the longest of my life. I’ve been waiting to hear back from 11 publishers. I wrote a book about a year ago. Well I started it a year ago. It’s fiction. Of the young adult variety. Kind of Twilight meets Heroes but my main character could take …
Only in Bali do you hear the words ‘colonic irrigation’ and ‘ecstatic dancing’ in the same sentence. Actually only in Ubud. I told you – it’s like Brighton only on some parallel universe where things are enhanced to the power of 100. I was feeling down, despite the fact I was at the time eating …
Money; I once wrote that amongst the things I wish I had known before starting this was how much more money it was going to take than you naively think. I don’t know why I’m using you there, I mean I. You are probably handier with a calculator and more endowed with common sense than …
In 1997 I spent a week on Gili Meno – a tiny dot of paradise resting in the Lombok Strait – geek fact; the Lombok Strait is 3km deep, a breeding ground for Tiger sharks and is full of treacherous currents. Lots of Divers go drifting out into it and have to rely on the …
‘Mrs Putu will come and get you,’ Natasha says. ‘And lock you in a cage,’ I add. ‘And make you clean her toenails,’ ‘With your tongues,’ Jay completes the image. The three fall silent. Their faces in the candlelight are struck with horror. A lip quivers. I hear a wimper. Maybe we went too far. …
The less you have to do, the less you do. I am dangling on the laziness precipice and struggling to pull myself back into the land of the active and purposeful. I’m not lazy in the sense of sitting in front of the tv eating cheatos all day – I do eat the cheatos but …
I was already feeling like an inferior human being. This mainly thanks to having spent Sunday at Ku De Ta. A place so striving to be cool it can’t even spell itself correctly. A place so filled to the brim with the beautiful people that it hurt to look for too long in one direction. …
Ok. Today was a bad day. It went like this. Lula woke at 6.30. We had our first screaming episode of the morning over suncream. I’ve managed to win the insect repellent battle by convincing her that the bugspray is perfume. She submits to lashings of the citronella now because she thinks Egg, her amour, …
Alula is in love. She’s in love with a little boy who lives down the road – son of some friends of ours who followed after us from Goa. Lula has her first boy crush and it’s scary. I mean, it’s scary for poor Eggy, possibly the cutest most adorable boy in the world. If …
Driving in Bali is like playing space invaders. Cars, dogs, scooters, chickens, trucks and bikes are all sharing the one lane road with you and they’re coming at you from every direction trying to kill you. If you get distracted by the 7 year old driving past you on his scooter with his three year …
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