The lady over the road sells clothes. We’re not talking Topshop here. Hell, we’re not even talking Primark. And when we first moved in I kind of had a glance at the random assortment of bintang t-shirts and fisherman’s trousers hanging up, sighed deeply and silently to myself about the fashion vortex that is Bali, …
Alula and I are talking over a soft boiled egg and soldiers. Alula do you remember travelling? Er, no. You don’t remember anything – anything at all? No. What about living in India – remember the beach? Remember going to school with Dumpie? Um, no… I remember Egg though. (her first big crush) What about …
I’m writing this about friends of ours – friends whose company I enjoy a lot. But I’m never going to have dinner with either of them again. That’s because they’ve given up eating. As in solids. As in chewing. And you thought I was lazy. And they’re not doing this indefinitely. No, they’re doing this …
We just upgraded our car. This sounds impressive but really from the jeep it was impossible to downgrade, except to maybe some roller-skates made out of shopping trolley wheels and some frayed rope. It’s laughable that an upgrade from our tin pot on wheels, with doors that didn’t shut properly, brakes that didn’t understand their …
Oh dear. It all started about ten days ago. A concert Afro Moses Cool Franti’s Villa Pool Party Awesome Raise money Raffle Fundraiser ‘Sarah can you ask Leila to be a raffle girl?’ ‘Ooooh I like, like one of those 1950s cigarette girls’ ‘Yeah, short skirt, a little hat, part men from their cash …
The psychics are angry. I’m noticing a weird pattern. And I’ve deduced that either a) I’m evil b) I’m dying very soon c) They can read my mind (as in they are all telepaths) Because every time I pass a psychic on the street in Bali, which I have to tell you, is quite frequently, …
Jesus came to tea the other day. I always wanted to write that line. John told me that he runs a business in town. I look at him, sitting on our Bale, long brown hair, sorrowful face, beard (no stigmata that I can see) and I ask John if at board meetings he sits on …
There’s a part half way through where I’m pouring sweat, literally pouring, as if my body has sprung several leaks, and I realize that I can’t move my shoulder or neck anymore. I decide to take a break. I pant my way to the water cooler. It’s ecstatic dance. Everyone by the water cooler is …
I am starting to wonder if there’s anyone in Ubud who believes in the theory of evolution. It’s not that Ubud is home to Christian fundamentalists all preaching creationism, hating on gays and believing we’re descended from Adam and Eve. Oh no, nothing like that. It’s that Ubud’s full of people who think we’re light …
‘So for xmas we have two options. If the weather is nice we can go to the beach. And if it’s not we can stay in Ubud and do what xmas is about. Namely eating.’ ‘Actually Christmas is about Jesus,’ John reminds me. I raise an eyebrow at the heathen grinning at me across the …
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