I keep starting a lot of my posts with ‘So I was getting a massage and…’ But um, I was getting a massage this morning and Alula wandered in. ‘Hello mummy,’ she said. ‘mgrhrmrmrm,’ I answered. ‘Is it ok if I sit on the bed?’ she asked, clambering on the bed. ‘Yes, ok but you …
Things I could do today in Ubud: Learn about Sacred Commerce (but first I’d have to understand what that meant) Join with others in a Galactic and Universal Movement of Consciousness which will bring back Heaven on Earth (but smoking dope here could lead to 500 years hard labour so I’m not sure what the …
Today I introduced a Western evil to the civilised land of Bali. I feel like a Spaniard bringing smallpox to the New World. Except I brought Road Rage and not a disease that will decimate the population. Unless of course everyone starts driving each other off the roads and into the drainage ditches – which …
‘I want you to introduce yourselves and give me one word which describes how you’re feeling now.’ Bored. Can I say bored? No, that’s rude. What about highly sceptical? No, also rude. Resistant? Well if she can read my aura she knows this already. I’ll go with tired. Tired is inoffensive. Oooh crap, my turn. …
So what better reason to break into a five star hotel? Driving up to the valet point in our rusting hunk of metal should have outed us as not that rich but the dudes with the wavy bomb detector things let us on through. They even parked our pringle encrusted car for us (hey I …
Today is an exceptionally wonderful day. And most days out here are. But today is especially so. I got some really amazing news at 6.04am as I stood blurry eyed over the porridge pot making Lula’s breakfast. I can’t tell you what just yet but will do in due course. Anyway feeling happy equates to …
Something has happened to me. Something truly quite shocking. It’s like good kids who get sent to Feltham and come out knife wielding crack addicted nutjobs. I am that kid. And Ubud is my Feltham. And after four weeks I’ve changed. I think I’m a nutjob. Just not a knife-wielding crack addicted one. I have …
I’m a failure. This according to Nyoman and Made the two women who own the shop over the road. I am a failure because I only have a daughter. ‘You have more children soon yes?’ they ask. ‘Err no. Not planning on it,’ I say. They stare at me with a mixture of pity and …
I’m having a ceremony for the opening of the clinic, my friend Meg tells me. She is opening Ubud’s first proper colonic clinic. (I’m not sure what proper means? That they have EU certified hoses or something?) I’ve no idea what it will involve she says, but please come. You will have to give a …
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